Time Will Heal Our Wounds

Time Will Heal Our Wounds

Trouble passes. What has caused you to burst into tears today will soon be forgotten; you may remember that you cried but it is unlikely that you will remember what you cried about! As we grow up and go through life, if we remember this we shall often be surprised to find how we lie awake at night brooding something that has happened to upset us during the day, or how we nurse resentment against someone and keep on letting the same thoughts run through our minds about how we are going to have our own back against the person who has harmed us. We may fall into a rage over something and later wonder what it was we were so angry about. And being surprised, we can realise what a waste of time and energy it has all been, and how we have

deliberately gone on being unhappy when we could have stopped it and started to think about something else.

Whatever our troubles, however grievous they may appear, time will heal our wounds. But surely there must be something we can do to prevent ourselves from being hurt in the first place. Why should we allow people and troubles to drain our energy and make us unhappy? The answer is, of course, that they do not, it is we who make ourselves unhappy.

You may have had some trouble in your office or the place where you work but you should not bring or extend such troubles to your home and create a bad atmosphere. You should realise that there is a cure or an end to those problems and troubles which are to be

found by achieving freedom from our selfish desires and by eradicating all forms of confusion and ignorance.

Whenever we fail to find a solution to any problem, we are inclined to find a scapegoat, someone against whom we can vent our grievance. We are not prepared to admit our own shortcomings. We feel it is easier to put the blame on others and to nurture a grievance against someone. In fact, some of us take pleasure in so doing. This is a completely wrong attitude. We must not show resentment or to be angry towards others. We should do our utmost, painstakingly and calmly, to resolve our own problems. We must be prepared to face up to any difficulties that we may encounter.

Healthy Atmosphere

However bitter may be the joke and remarks directed at you by others, like a wise man you too must answer them with another joke without an unhealthy atmosphere.

When you play a game don’t show your temper if you are losing the game; by doing so you not only spoil the pleasure of others but you will in the end completely lose the game.

You cannot correct each and every person in this world in order to achieve peace in the same way as you cannot remove the world of stones and thorns to walk smoothly. One who wants to walk on smooth ground must wear a pair of shoes. Likewise, one who

wants to have a peace of mind, must know how to guard his own senses.

There are various ways to correct a person if he is wrong. By criticising, blaming and shouting at him publicly, you cannot correct him; you must know how to correct him without humiliating him. Many people make more enemies by criticizing others. If you can tell him kindly, with the intention of correcting him, he will certainly listen to you and some day he will thank you

for your guidance and kindness.

Whenever you express your views regarding certain matters, always try to use words which would not hurt the feelings of others. There are various ways of expressing you views either gently or politely or even diplomatically.

You should not lose your temper when your faults are pointed out. You may think that by showing temper and shouting at others you can suppress or overcome your shortcomings. It is a false and wrong attitude to adopt.

You should not reveal the personal secrets of a former friend which were confided to you even though you are not in good terms with him. If you do so, others will look down upon you and will never accept you as a sincere man.

Accept Criticism

“Sweetness is sickness, bitterness is medicine”

Praise is like a sweet, excess of which cause sickness. And criticism is like a bitter pill or a painful injection which cures sickness. We must have the courage to welcome criticism and not to be afraid of it.

“The ugliness we see in others

Is a reflection of our own nature”

A man’s individual life, circumstances and world are a reflection of his own thoughts and beliefs. All men are mirrors reflecting according to their own surface. All men, looking at the world of men and things, are looking into a mirror which gives back their own reflection.

Happiness and Materialism

Many people believe they can solve all their problems if only they have money; but they fail to realise that money itself has its attendant problems. Money alone cannot solve all problems.

Many people never learn this and all their lives they rush about using all their energy trying to collect may more “gadgets”, and when they have them they find that these do not satisfy them, but they must have other “things and more gadgets”. In fact, the more they have the more they desire to have; so they can never be happy or content.

The following advice gives us tremendous consolation to make up our mind when we lose something:

“Say not that this is yours and that is mine, Just say, this came to you and that to me, So we may not regret the fading shine, Of all the glorious things which ceased to be.”

Wealth is not something for you to dump somewhere and to crave for. It is for you to make use of for your welfare as well as others. If you spend your time by only clinging to your property without even fulfilling your obligations towards your country, your people and your religion you may find that when the time comes for you to leave, this world will still be plagued with worries. You will not be benefited with that property which you have so painstakingly collected.

To hope for wealth and gain through gambling is like hoping for shelter from the sun through the clouds, whereas to hope for progress and prosperity through diligence in work is like building a permanent house as a shelter from the sun and rain.

“Your property will remain when you die. Your friends and

relatives will follow you up to your grave. But only good or bad

actions you have done during your life-time will follow you

beyond the grave.”

Many things that we hope will give us pleasure are disappointing when we get them, like the three wishes in the fairy tale, it sounds nice to have a lot of money but if we get it we may find that it brings us worry in deciding how to use it or how to protect it, or we may be led to act foolishly. The rich man begins to wonder if his friends value him for himself or for his money, and this is another form of mental sorrow. And there is always the fear of losing what we have, whether it be possessions or some beloved person. So when we are honest and look closely at what we call “happiness” we find that it is a kind of mirage in the mind, never fully grasped, never complete, or at the best, accompanied by fear of loss.

Your wealth can decorate only your house but not you. Only your own virtue can decorate you. Your dress can decorate your body but not you. Only your good conduct can decorate you.

The method that people should adopt to gain happiness must be a harmless one. There is no meaning in enjoying happiness by causing suffering to another person or any other living being. Buddha says: “Blessed are they who earn their living without harming others.”

“Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without

getting a few drops on yourself.”

You may not be able to change the world according to your wishes but you may be able to change your heart to find

happiness. It is only when you have suffered through doing good

that you can achieve a greater happiness than others.

The famous Dale Carnegie wrote, “If we want to find happiness, let us stop thinking about gratitude or ingratitude and give for the inner joy of giving. Ingratitude is natural-like weeds. Gratitude is like a rose. It has to be fed, watered and cultivated and loved and protected.” (D. Carnegie).

Act Wisely

Man must know how to use his youth, wealth, power, energy and knowledge at the proper time, at the proper place and in the proper way for his own benefit, and for the benefit and welfare of the others as well. If he misuses such privileges, it will only cause his own down-fall.

“Man must be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to encounter fear, proud and unbending in honest defeat, humble and gently in victory.”

Some people through a sudden stroke of fortune receive a large sum of money or are endowed with some property, or they might inherit a large share of the property from their parents. But

amongst them only a very few would know how to preserve and

maintain such newly acquired property. Normally property that is

easily acquired without their own effort and labour, has no real

value to them. Therefore they will start to spend the money on

unnecessary things and, very soon, the whole property will be squandered. People must know how to handle their property without wasting it, and for that they must use a little bit of their common sense.